If you have a list of ten things to do before you die, strike out a trip to Alabama. Attorney General Troy King wants to ban sex toys and will bust your ass if you are caught using or possessing one. King, described by some as a ‘hateful punk’ believes sex toys are immoral and corrupting.

This insistence might possibly have stemmed from a lawsuit made a couple of years earlier by a man whose honor, integrity and peace of mind were ‘irreparably shattered’ by being given a pocket pussy as a Secret Santa office gift. This particular spoil sport so failed to see the funny side that he hired a lawyer to sue the firm, who were then obliged to mount a witch hunt to uncover the pocket pussy present giver. Once identified, the culprit was sued for defamation of character. Looks like the gift giver got more of a low blow served up than the gift receiver.

In the sexually repressed Southern States, where in Mississippi it is illegal even for married couples to engage in oral sex, this type of lawsuit must seem perfectly valid sane and sensible. To anyone else it is simply laughable.

With all the real crime that takes place in Alabama – including a number of shady dealings in politics, corruption, and graft, much of it allegedly involving King himself – Mr King seems more concerned that the morals of the good folk of Alabama may also be ‘irreparably shattered’ by the use of sex toys.

If you disagree with Troy King’s policy on banning sex toys, be they vibrators for girls or pocket pussies for guys, why not add him to your Christmas list and send him something suitably sexy in the toy line.
Here’s his address:

Office of the Attorney General
Alabama State House
11 South Union Street, Third Floor
Montgomery, AL 36130